Parent to Parent

Hi Everyone,

It has been awhile since I had a chance to add anything. Sorry about that. Lots of little issues have come up recently in my personal and professional life that got me thinking about parent responsibilities during the middle school years. Parents really need to take more responsibility for parenting and rely less on the schools to raise their child. I put together some common sense suggestions just to remind parents of little things they can do that make a big difference in the development of their middle school child. Nothing scientific just pulled from my own experiences as a mom and working with middle school families over the years. If you have other suggestions to add, send me an e-mail. I welcome your opinions and ideas.

Thanks for taking a look

Teresa

Being There for Your Middle Schooler

While our kids are young we go out of the way to make sure our kids are safe and cared for especially in our absence. We adjust our schedules, search out the best (and often the most expensive) daycare, enroll the kids in after school programs, take them to lessons, make sure they are active in sports, organize play dates, help with homework/projects, know all their friends and basically supervise all waking hours, just to make sure our kids have a chance and stay out of trouble.
All of a sudden, the kids are older, better able to take care of themselves and frankly pushing their parents away. There is no need to be home the minute they walk in the door. You may want to go back to work or increase your hours significantly. The kids are ready for more independence. However, don’t think they do not need you.
Middle School is a time where kids really need as much if not more supervision than they did when they were little. You just have to do it from a distance. One of the biggest mistakes parents make at the middle school level is to assume they do not have to keep a close eye on their kids.

Here are some simple things to keep in mind……..

*Know where your kids are all the time

*Make sure they know how to get a hold of you all the time-cell phones make it easy but it is not a replacement for your presence. If you are in a position to adjust your schedule so you are around after school do it, don’t think twice or rationalize, it will be the best gift you ever give your child.

*Make an effort to get to know your kids friends and their parents

*Don’t let them go to friends houses unless you have met the parents and call to make sure someone is going to be home

*Encourage them to get involved in after school activities-the advantage of this goes without saying

*Make sure you are available to get them to their activities or that they can get themselves there prepared and on time.

*Arrange pick up times-don’t leave this open ended especially at night. This will avoid begging and pleading via cell phones.

*Middle school aged children may still need some help with organization.

*By 7th or 8th grade, the average student should be independent with homework. However, if your child is having problems sit down with them just like you did when they were little.

*Keep an eye on your child’s progress in school. Lots of schools offer grading systems that are on line. I often know my kids grades before they do.

*A child’s behavior after school is not a school issue it is yours so take responsibility and deal with it.

*Schools are not a replacement for parents

*Don’t make excuses for a middle school age child’s bad behavior. Make them take responsibility for their actions. You will be providing them one of the best life lessons.

*If you child lies, makes bad choices or breaks a simple house rule-get stricter until they earn your trust back.

*Never tolerate bad behavior especially if it is directed at others

*Follow through on all consequences.

*Have expectations for your kids. They need to know effort with school and other activities is expected.

*Praise your child often

*Talk to your child and better yet listen to your child

11-14 years of age is not that old. Kids need to know you are interested and care. Everything mentioned above are common sense suggestions most of us followed religiously when our kids are small. Don’t stop just because your kids are looking and acting a little more grown up. Without parental guidance, it is hard for kids to develop good self image, take advantage of opportunities available and develop good values.

Develop Those Higher Level Language Skills!

During the middle school years, students are beginning to develop higher level language abilities. Most students do this so naturally we do not even notice. Teachers do their best to help students gradually develop mature language skills. However, students with language disabilities or just weak academic habits may have difficulty acquiring these higher level language skills.

What are some higher level language skills?

• Development of mature vocabulary
• Understanding of word relationships such as homophones and homographs
• Understanding and use of figurative expressions
• Organization of mature sentences (oral and written)
• Understanding and use of mature grammatical structures (oral and written)
• Ability to draw conclusions and inferences
• Ability to paraphrase and rephrase with ease
• Ability to reason
• Looking at things from another’s perspective

Concerns when Students do not attain higher level language skills.

• Difficulty with comprehension (oral and written)
• Unable to understand and make connections and associations
• Difficulty understand jokes, riddles and humor in general
• Inability to organize language
• Writing skills will suffer
• Poor problem solving skills
• Inability to be flexible with language ( I will explain more about that later)
• Academic success is effected
• Immature pragmatic abilities (social speech skills)

Many simple activities can help foster development of higher level language skills. Keep an eye on my blog. I will continue to provide information and suggestions for intervention. If you need me to address an area ASAP or you have specific questions drop me a comment.

Teresa

Middle School: A Unique Age

For the past 12+ years I have worked as a Middle School Speech Language Pathologist. At the same time my own three children swam through the sea of middle school. I guess on some level that makes me a middle school expert. I am not sure about that but I have observed middle school intensively, worked with both regular and special education teachers, dealt with administration, observed curriculum development (and lack of it), proctered state level examinations, been involved with displinary issues and watched hormones go crazy. When it comes to middle school I can honestly say, "been there done that."

When you research Early Childhood development information is overwhelming, everyone has an opinion and free information is available in every toy store and doctors office. However, look for information/advice on anything related to the middle school aged child and your results is limited.

I am starting this blog for many reasons. First to network with other middle school speech pathologists, second to provide some practical advice to parents on working with their middle school students, third to share practical ideas around anything involving middle school students from school issues, special needs issues, fun ideas, sports and activities.
Much more to follow........